I know it’s been years since we last spoke, but I’m really sorry. You are so wonderful, and I’m so glad you found someone to share your life with. I just wish I would’ve gotten the chance to apologize for how mean I was and how much I took you for granted.
(Source: oursuicidenotes, via everyday-inspiration)
(Source: j4mis0n, via inspirational-images)
(Source: photosetcxo, via everyday-inspiration)
“nolite te bastardes carborundorum”
It’s from Margaret Atwood’s book The Handmaid’s Tale, one of my favorite books from one of my favorite authors. It means “don’t let the bastards grind you down.”
This.
(via everyday-inspiration)
Need to get myself out of this funk. In such a crabby mood. Sunshine and beach today didn’t even help…
Need to get me some more income and get my own place. I want my own apartment, where I can do whatever I want. Go whenever I please and not get in the way of people.
So, what do you do when you’ve come to that realization…. I don’t want to belong anymore? I never belonged here.
Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve
Perks of being a wallflower
You’re beautiful, but you’re empty. No one could die for you.
The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint Exupéry (via poetic-bullshit)
(Source: daedalsouls, via poetic-bullshit)
Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Chops”
because that was the name of his dog
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
p. 70
Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Autumn”
because that was the name of the season
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
p. 71
Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Innocence: A Question”
because that was the question about his girl
And that’s what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
p. 71
That’s why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it “Absolutely Nothing”
Because that’s what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn’t think
he could reach the kitchen.
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Chops”
because that was the name of his dog
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
p. 70
Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Autumn”
because that was the name of the season
And that’s what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
p. 71
Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it “Innocence: A Question”
because that was the question about his girl
And that’s what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
p. 71
That’s why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it “Absolutely Nothing”
Because that’s what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn’t think
he could reach the kitchen.
You know when you feel you’ve hit rock bottom? Like there is no light at the end of the tunnel? And all those other cliches people are always talking about. I am there. I am the girl with mascara smeared down her face, crying into a pillow, wondering how it all went wrong.
I am a nice person. I am friendly. I am a hard worker. Yet once again, alone. I don’t have any close friends. I’m not the person people actively want to hang out with, and I got tired of constantly being rejected, so stopped inviting people to do things.
I am here, sleeping on a futon at my parents house some nights, others at a friends place whom I feel bad staying at because they are the perfect couple… And seeing then together reminds me how alone I am, and will always be.
It’s pretty damned pathetic that I’ll take Valium just to pass out on a Friday night so I don’t have to think about how lonely I really am. I just want out. Do badly. And the funny thing is, when I get out…no one will even notice.
Yesterday ended in me passing out, vomiting and sleeping. No exercise for me :-(
TMI time… But got my period 10 days early, and my cramps and headaches are ridiculous. Ended up seeing my GP to change BC… Hoping that will help out some :-(
Still looking for more work… Studying going well! Everything is really interesting.
On another note… My friend from Canada arrives soon! Yay!
(Source: fireagility.com, via reasonstolovebeingalive)
